amazing grace

I have been trying to find the words to write this post. So while it might not be too eloquent, it is something I need to write, to process. My Grandpa died last month, and the emotions have been difficult.

I am mad. Mad at the cancer. Mad that we didn't get more time, that my kids don't get more time with him. I am beyond sad. That while I live on this earth I will never get to hear his voice or hug him. But I am happy. He is no longer in pain. He suffered longer that anyone should, and I know he did that for his family. I am happy that he is finally reunited with his wife, my beloved Grandma. This last month has been harder than I could have ever imagined. I find myself breaking down over little things. I cried at Hayden's baseball game. My Grandpa always came to his baseball and soccer games. I cried getting a sno-cone, I tear up at the sight of waffles.

But I truly want to thank all who have called and checked on us. It has meant more than you will ever know. And I know he is in a better place. At his funeral there were 2 songs that were sang, Amazing Grace and I Can Only Imagine. I listen to KLove in my car, however i'm not in my car often. A little over a week after he passed I Can Only Imagine came on. I have been listening to KLove exclusively for 8 months and I have never heard it. Then the next week Amazing Grace came on. Again I have never heard it on that station as long as I've listend, and then the week after that Amazing Grace came on again. I know those songs were his little reminders to me that is fine, better than fine.

I love you Grandpa, more than you will ever know, and I pray I see you again someday.